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I call my grandma a day late to say happy birthday, and she makes me feel like shit
Oh and she’s pissed about me going to pride
I’m guessing that the actual process of giving birth is what led to the extinction of the unicorn.
????
Maybe we are dreaming all the time and when we “sleep” we wake up
?
I don’t need drugs to have a good time, but I do need them to get through family functions
???
Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except for you.
????
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
????
if you cant laugh at yourself, I’ll be happy to do it for you.
??
im wondering why a “fat chance” and a “slim chance” mean the same thing
????
?Wish on a star?
Or
?become a star ?
When your ex thinks it’s cool to lie about that she was raped like are you serious
You make me sick
????
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