Once I could walk from one side of town to the other without issue. I worked on my own car, I carried my children with ease. These days a simple task such as folding laundry can wear me down. Half way through the day I can feel exhausted and the only thing I’ve done is shower and cook a meal. I spend every day living with Graves` Disease. I don’t believe that most people realize that. I feel when they see me in my wheelchair or with my walker they judge me harshly. I notice the sideways glances and in some ways, I have grown used to them, but it is always in the back of my mind. I want to help them understand what it is like to live with the invisible Graves` Disease.

I was first diagnosed with Graves` Disease when I was 31 years old. For years I had been misdiagnosed with having bi-polar disorder and was told that it was the reason for my mood swings. At the time there was no Affordable Care Act, and I had no health insurance. My husband’s job did not provide dependent insurance and I was working in fast food which provided health insurance, but it was very expensive and not very good. Because of these factors I wasn’t seeing a doctor on a regular basis and went undiagnosed for a very long time. I was miserable and always complaining about various ailments, so much so that my husband regularly told me that he thought I was a hypochondriac. To hear my long list of complaints, I’m sure most people would have agreed with him. Even I questioned whether I was being over dramatic.

We were still living in our first little apartment. It was a one bedroom on the second floor of a small complex. I noticed that over time climbing the single flight of stairs to our apartment became more difficult instead of easier, this was very frustrating as I couldn’t understand why. I also couldn’t understand why I a 31-year-old female was losing hair? This made no sense to me. Hair loss only happened to men, or so I thought. I also noticed that any time I received a small wound such as a scratch it would take an unusually long time to heal. My hands constantly shook and were unsteady, something I originally attributed to drinking too much caffeine. I had trouble sleeping and I was either burning up hot or freezing cold. There was no middle ground. I had developed a goiter which is a large lump on the neck. I had lost a lot of weight, that was the one thing I was happy about. I had spent most of my life being chubby and somewhat over weight, so to finally be thin had me thrilled. However, the longest running symptom I dealt with were the emotional problems. The mood swings I had made me believe there was something horribly wrong with me. Sometimes at night I would lay awake for hours trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Why was I so depressed that I couldn’t get out of bed? This had been going on for so long, that I was desperate to get any kind of help. I no longer wanted to feel worthless. Put plainly, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

So for the past month I’ve been dealing with some kind of Rash that initially started on my leg as what appeared to be a small water filled bump. One night in my sleep I scratched it open. This lead to an open wound. For most people no big deal, for someone with both Graves Disease and Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis (ie…me), this is a problem. My already compromised immune system means that not only will my wounds heal more slowly there is a greater possibility of infection. But anyway I decided to wait a few days to see how things with my leg would pan out. During that time my leg began to itch horribly. To the point that when We finally decided to take me to Urgent care a huge part of my lower right leg was very red and very sore. So the Urgent care doctor gave me a prescription for Antibiotics and an Anti fungal.  For the next two weeks I took these and finished them, however at this point I now also had itchy rashes on my upper leg areas, on my stomach and chest as well as on both arms. I tried hydrocortisone, Gold Bond rapid relief, Gold Bond multi symptom with lidocaine, and Benedryl anti itch gel. Nothing worked to stop my itch.

With none of that working and things only getting worse, We finally decided it was time for me to see my doctor, So in we went. After examining me and being shown the prescriptions I already took, it was decided that I should have another round of antibiotics & anti-fungal medication. The doctor explained that because of my already weakened immune system I needed extra time for my body to heal and repair itself. She also told me I could take two oral benadryl per dose to help with the itching. But honestly it didn’t do much good. The only way I found any kind of relief was taking a shower and moisturizing afterwards. That would relieve my itching for a least a few hours, but this was also drying my skin out. In fact on one day I think I took at least 5 showers. Then I remembered that when I was a child, I had suffered through chicken pox. I remembered that my mom had used calamine lotion for the itching. I also noticed how dry my skin had become from all the showering. This is a problem, because my skin already dries and cracks easily due to my Graves Disease. So When Mark called me on his lunch break, I told him to pick up some Cotton Balls, Calamine Lotion, and Baby oil on his way home from work.  It’s been six days now and I’m actually seeing results. I think the Antibiotics are doing their job and the calamine has helped with the itching. Applying baby oil after showering has helped me to keep my skin from drying out. Today my arms and legs look much better and I’m finally not really itching. I’m just spot using the calamine at this point, so if a little area itch’s I just put some calamine on and it is helping.

Having an itch you can’t scratch is a miserable thing and when it’s been going on for so long it’s enough to drive you insane. I’m just so glad that it actually appears to be over now..hopefully soon enough my skin we be normal again.

Having Graves` disease means that whenever I get a wound, it’s guaranteed to take a long time to heal. Also there is always a chance it will become infected and I’ll have to go the doctors for it. Which is exactly what happened this time. We ended up going to urgent care to have the wound on my leg looked at, where I was promptly prescribed a 14 day antibiotic and some benadryl to help with the itching. Though I still find myself needing to use a gel to help with itching in other areas around the wound. This is just one of the many reasons having Graves` disease sucks

You know why I hate graves disease, random out of nowhere fever. Was up to 102 holding steady at 100.3 right now. Had horrible shivers earlier, my whole body ached from them. FML!

Got up today, had breakfast, did some light yoga, then hopped in the shower. It might not seem like much to most people, but finally being able to accomplish so much without wearing out because of my Graves disease makes me feel incredibly good 🙂

So I recently went to a new doctor and for the first time ever he didn’t even mention the idea of removing my thyroid, it was a breath of fresh air.

One of the first things I really liked about him, was that I was telling him my experiences with Methimazole and I how I felt like crap even though my levels were normal. He told the hubby and I a story about when he was in pharmacology class. He said On his second day in the class his professor said something that really bothered him. He said that they said “No Medicine Cures anything”. He said that’s what inspired him to look at ways to cure people and not just treat symptoms. Because what’s the point if we’re not trying to make people healthy?

He also said that one of the first questions he asks when he has a new patient is that if they’re sick, why? What’s causing that? Let’s figure that out and try to reverse it. Both myself and my hubby felt really good after talking with him.

He gave me us a few printouts of different treatments to look over. In no particular order they are: Ionized Oxygen Therapy, Low Dose Allergan Therapy(LDA), 3 minute chelation, Neurotransmitter Therapy, Electrolyte IV, Neural Therapy, Raindrop Therapy, Sensitivity Removal Technique (SRT), and chinese Herbal Medication.

We’re waiting for bloodwork to come back to figure out where to go from there. I’m excited to be working with someone willing to try to heal my body and not just interested in managing my symptoms.

If I have one more person tell me I should just get rid of my thyroid I think I’m going to choke them…sheesh. My thyroid problems are just one issue of graves disease. Getting rid of it will only make medication for the rest of my life mandatory and I’ll still have Graves Disease! Why should I only treat a symptom and not my whole disease, this makes no sense. It’s like cutting off your nose because you have the flu…. yeah you’ll no longer have a runny nose, but I’m pretty sure you’ll still have the flu!.

I just want to say something. Depression is not the only invisible disease out there. Lot’s of people have invisible diseases that can cause lot’s of problems. If you saw me going down the street you would never know that I have graves disease. I see the dirty looks people give me because I have to use a riding cart in the grocery store, and I’m pretty sure those looks are followed by the the thought that I should probably stop eating so much because I’m heavy. The truth of the matter is that it’s not my weight that causes me to need that cart, or my wheelchair. It’s muscle deterioration. I’m losing weight now but I know that even if I get to my goal weight that’s only half the battle.
My point is don’t be so quick to judge people you don’t know what they are dealing with. Depression is also and invisible disease, and please don’t tell that person to “Cheer up” It doesn’t work that way. If it were that easy nobody would be depressed. Depression and being sad are not the same thing.

I have an Auto-immune disease, this means my body has literally turned against itself. My immune system attacks things in my body that it shouldn’t. This means I have to work twice as hard to feel normal. Every Day I have to think about what I’m putting into my body and how it will effect me. For years I didn’t. I drank mountain dew like it was going out of style, smoked (when I finally quit I was up to 2 sometimes 3 packs a day), ate whatever I wanted, and didn’t really exercise.

Then at 30 years old, I suddenly noticed that normal things became harder for me to do. It became harder for me to ascend a flight a stairs. I would be extremely tired half way through the day when I hadn’t even done that much. I had trouble sleeping properly, I would occasionally have blurred vision. My back (which had always given me troubles) was suddenly bothering me even more. I would get flutters in my chest. Have Panic attacks and was constantly suffering from horrible mood swings. I would be either severely depressed or on some kind of Euphoric high, there was no happy medium. I was even wrongfully diagnosed as have bi-polar disorder.

Then I was told I had Graves’ Disease. At the time Mark‘s Job didn’t provide dependent insurance. So I had none. I was diagnosed by a clinic doctor who did next to nothing in the way of explaining this disease to me. He gave me some pills and sent me on my way. He didn’t tell me I needed to regularly have blood work done to adjust the medicine, he didn’t tell me that Graves` Disease could kill me. He didn’t even explain to me how it would effect my life so drastically. So They gave me these pills and suddenly within 3 months I gained 100lbs adding that much weight that quickly to someone who already had back issues, combined with the muscle deterioration caused by graves` and suddenly I could barely walk or stand without much pain. These days when I go out I need to take my wheel chair.

Eventually Mark got another job and we got insurance, and I found a doctor. Then I came to understand the gravity of my situation. But I sunk into a deep depression and it took me a long time to move out it and realize that I didn’t want to be my disease. I don’t want it to define me. Eight years, and tons of research later I’ve finally accepted that I need to work harder than most just to have a somewhat normal life. I’ve had to change my diet, change my lifestyle and do things that 10 years ago I wouldn’t have given a second thought too.

So please remember that having your health is an amazing thing take care of your body it’s the only one you have and if yours hasn’t turned against you treat it kindly and do your best to take care of it.